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Have you seen this man?

Port Dickson: The Majlis Perbandaran Port Dickson (MPPD) advises citizens of its municipality to be aware of the increase in crime clans, in accordance with Racial Harmony Month in Singapore.

The Teik- and Ind- denominations of the Ian clan have been reported to be in collaboration in the recent heist of a hat here. The hat, labelled as ‘100% Paper Straw, Made In China’, has been reported missing by a Tanahmas-lounging, white-as- , “Jangg”-sporting Sarawakian man. Within minutes of the theft, the “Elements” brand name was bastardised to “Elephants”, which is what Indians are more familiar with. Local police are currently looking for ‘that fat lemon’ and ‘that patchy two-colour’ in an ISB party. They have not sifted through all the “macha, mcha, macha, macha, macha, macha” despite being there for the past two days.

At a press conference, Negeri Sembilan Police Chief ASP Waris Midas bin Aidono said that the recent, unexplained rise in unemployment of Indians could have caused them to turn to crime. Other undesirable activities that unemployed Indians may engage in include attempted journalism and streaking.

‘The recent rise in oil prices has caused cost-push inflation. Employers have begun to layoff Indian workers to compensate, because both are oily and we know which one is smellier. However, there are a few isolated cases of Indians committing crimes first and then being unemployed as a result,’ he said, trying to show his knowledge of economics, current affairs and distasteful jokes in a single breath.

His latter statement refers to an earlier incident in Mantin, a neighbouring town to Port Dickson. His distasteful jokes later earned him a ‘Squeeze in his gonads when least expecting it’ by another unnamed Sarawakian man, who is large and at-large.

The police are advising the public to lock up their daughters, be wary of jellyfish with driving licenses and ‘look at the colour of the road for the colour of Uncle Lucas’s lungs’.

ed. This is what i got in my email… Ram is just too bored

Im writing from the Lobby of the Tanahmas hotel in Sibu Sarawak, going thru my mind is how to get td.com up and moving again… Based on the conversations i’ve had with the current writers, (which are few and far between) i think we need a reshuffle of writers. THEREFORE… In addition to the existing 2 writers hereby called the “Hiatus-ed” writers, im looking for 2-3 more writers to contribute to make td.com move again. Pop me an email if you’re interested. Pref people i know.. *duh

Anyway more about sibu later when i get to upload my pictures.

p/s: FMA rox my sox… Thanks Farid…

EDIT

Thank you to all who made this day worth remembering. I dont care if anyone doesnt remember or doesnt care abt my birthday… I care about the people that do.

Im not going to list out everyone here coz its just not right to compare and list out what everyone and everything means to me. But i will say this… I love you all.. you are my other family.

Luc 21

Anyway This is a blog about why you should not come home un announced…

Few days ago i decided to come home early from KL, thought it would be a nice surprise and also ran out of money hahaha =) But anyway i got back at around 4pm, so i decided to go to Mambo to play some foos before going home, figured id just see everyone in the morning..

When i got home from Mambo which is late as usual, i was already dreaming of a cold room and comfy bed as i plopped down my bags and fumbled about with stuff in my room…

Ah thank god i have aircon…

Or Not…..

WHERE THE HELL IS THE AIRCON CONTROLLER????

The only place it could be is my Grandmas room, WHICH is locked of course… NO spare controller, No Manual button, No fan…

Great.

Sweaty Luc it is….

Cue 3:43am Hear Door Open… OH JOY OF JOY!

I Ninja-ed into my Grandma’s Room to Grab the controller and happilly Press the BIG GREEN BUTTON…

Condenser is SHITTED!! NO COLD AIR! MY AIRCON IS A FUCKING BIG FAN!

Why are you laughing at me God?

Forza Italia! The Azzurri finally pull through and win 5-3 on penalties after 1-1 AET. I was rooting for France though throughout the game… until Zidane’s audacious head-butt. I seriously thought he had more class than that.

Update: Materazzi, the dirty bastard that he is, in all his dirty glory.

Writing this from Ians bed, aching from rock climbing and kinda disappointed from the 2 win 2 loss of Rookie Doubles… Im turning 21 this weekend… What am i gonna do? I dunno really… Probably gonna go get pissed with My homie, and the singapore soc ppl.. + Ram and Ian who will be in Singapore i think. Gonna have a seperate thing with the foosers too =p

Anyway i went to a bar at Heeren the other day, its called the Balcony… Jovn n I were lucky enuf to get the “Beds” to chill on… when in fact they are actually leather… The drinks are expensive and there is a hot tub where people sit around… Why in Gods name do you need a hot tub in a bar.. when no one can get in it?! (-_-”)

Anyway not much happening with me.,.. just got to Balik Kampung on the 22nd… =| one week away from the net.. Kill me now.. =|

Will blog longer when i get back home.