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Oi Lucas LAY, Happy Belated birthday! You old fart… already 20. No more teenager. Now you have no excuse to not clean up the house lol.

Oh and reason behind lateness -> Dublin :) All that Irish land for only 4 million people plus only. To put things into perspective, 2 million people live in the Klang Valley last I checked.

Wad up TrueDeathers!

If my brain continues to be eaten away by disuse and replaced with this ever-expanding soggy clump of cotton wool, I have no choice but to start posting here regularly, to the point of spamming.

So be warned la.

I AM WOMAN HEAR ME NEIGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Luc: (6:01:38 PM)

Moooo

Jo: (6:01:49 PM)

neigh

Luc: (6:02:07 PM)

HORSE? Wow

Jo: (6:02:20 PM)

 i speak in tongues

Luc: (6:02:28 PM)

you are so blessed

Luc: (6:02:31 PM)

i bow down to you

Luc: (6:02:33 PM)

bow

Jo: (6:02:57 PM)

accepts flattery as humbly as possible

Luc: (6:03:48 PM)

i am posting this convo… its too weird

Jo: (6:07:39 PM)

huh?

Jo: (6:07:41 PM)

what do you mean ’

Jo: (6:07:44 PM)

‘posting’

Jo: (6:07:54 PM)

(fucking letter t)

Luc: (6:08:08 PM)

lol

Luc: (6:08:11 PM)

td.com

Jo: (6:08:29 PM)

...

Luc: (6:10:26 PM)

bwahahahhahahahhaha

Luc: (6:10:33 PM)

now the world will know that you neighed at me

Jo: (6:10:54 PM)

fu-...

Jo: (6:10:58 PM)

hooray

Jo: (6:11:30 PM)

BLOODY

Jo: (6:11:31 PM)

its up

Luc: (6:11:51 PM)

woo!

Luc: (6:12:02 PM)

dont you just love me?

Jo: (6:14:22 PM)

what can i say

Luc: (6:14:33 PM)

reply in the affirmative?

Jo: (6:14:39 PM)

posting has been closed for the time being?

Luc: (6:14:43 PM)

or you could just neigh

Luc: (6:14:46 PM)

ara? issit?

Luc: (6:14:50 PM)

Comments

Luc: (6:14:51 PM)

hahah

Luc: (6:14:56 PM)

You have to BLOG A REPLY!

Luc: (6:14:57 PM)

BWAHHAHAHAHA

Jo: (6:16:48 PM)

DSU

I dont speak swahili sorry

Jo: (6:18:04 PM)

mother whats my fucking password

Luc: (6:18:25 PM)

see? dont blog somemore la

Jo: (6:18:32 PM)

ah~ok

Jo: (6:18:37 PM)

got it  god bless gmail

Luc: (6:19:09 PM)

tiaotiaotiao

Jo: (6:19:25 PM)

guahahahahaa

Jo: (6:20:03 PM)

i can ype with my eyes closed

Jo: (6:20:05 PM)

the

Jo: (6:20:07 PM)

‘T’

Jo: (6:20:10 PM)

is because its wonked

Luc: (6:20:11 PM)

whahahahaha

Jo: (6:20:26 PM)

otherwise i type just perfect<—-see this is also typed with my eyes closed

Jo: (6:20:41 PM)

bwahahahaha!! challenge me!

Jo: (6:20:51 PM)

i shall only peek to see your challenge and then execute it

Luc: (6:20:59 PM)

i can type with my eyes closed too

Luc: (6:21:06 PM)

thats because i am a comp scientist

Luc: (6:21:09 PM)

LOL! im good

Jo: (6:21:24 PM)

ceh so wha

Jo: (6:21:29 PM)

i am an msn addict

Luc: (6:21:33 PM)

so am i

Jo: (6:21:34 PM)

*T!

Jo: (6:21:37 PM)

LETTER T!

Jo: (6:21:45 PM)

chaucibai

Jo: (6:21:50 PM)

WSE* U@O(U@#O(@HEO

Jo: (6:21:53 PM)

see, perfect swahili

Jo: (6:22:01 PM)

coded some more, got all the symbols in it

Luc: (6:22:06 PM)

ooooh lemme try Swahili

Luc: (6:22:08 PM)

FOIUHF*(H(*@F@

Jo: (6:22:18 PM)

no no

Jo: (6:22:27 PM)

need to work on the grammar

Jo: (6:22:39 PM)

its FOUI24@#@#*(@

Luc: (6:22:54 PM)

damnit.. i knew i was saying it wrong

Luc: (6:23:01 PM)

FIOAFIOANE@#*(#@&)(*#)(6656536

Jo: (6:23:35 PM)

hmmm improvement

Jo: (6:23:46 PM)

pretty damn good for a person who just picked it up 5 mins ago 

Luc: (6:23:52 PM)

=) thank you oh great teacher of swahili

Jo: (6:24:15 PM)

ur welcome

Jo: (6:24:23 PM)

ok the quarter pounder wants to use the comp

Jo: (6:24:32 PM)

ttyl o worthy disciple

Luc: (6:25:05 PM)

ok MacSexy

Luc: (6:25:10 PM)

or issit McSexy

Jo: (6:26:39 PM)

mcpremium salad 

It’s been about 5 days since this happened and my head’s alot clearer now than it was when I posted on that dreaded day. I owe it to Luc & Co. to explain what happened and perhaps anybody reading this can learn from my experience.

On Monday I was happily eating a bowl of mash potatoes in the master bedroom of my summer accomodation in Rusholme, Manchester. Now visitors to my humble abode should not confuse the venue of the following events with my old residence. In my 2 years on Grandale Street nothing funky had ever happened and I guess it was just bad luck that whatever happened took place albeit it being only 2 units away.

At about quarter to 4 in the evening, a gang of yobs broke into the house’s front door. Fahmi was downstairs in his room and Rozanna at the time was in the loo. They apprehended him and told him to surrender his laptop. Fahmi could not give a clear account of how many they were exactly but from the sounds that we heard we concluded that there were at least 5 of them in the house at the time. A couple of them rushed upstairs knocking on the bathroom door as they passed by and entered the master bedroom. I was behind the door at the time.

A male entered telling me to get on the floor. Another asked me where my laptop was. I didn’t get down on the floor like they told me to and I told them that I didn’t have a laptop. They looked pretty dissapointed as they hurridly exited the room but they managed to nick Roz’s phone before leaving. All of them rushed out of the house afterwards leaving us in a dazed shock – the whole event lasted less than a minute.

After they had left, Roz came out of the loo. None of us were hurt in any way. Only Fahmi had any sort of physical encounter with them: they had frisked him to see if he had a wallet or mobile on him. Luckily both were in another pair of trousers. But he did lose a PDA, a laptop, a camera and a mobile.

We immediately called the cops and reported what we saw and experienced. It was very difficult to assist the police as we hardly had any information on whodiddit. All of them were either wearing masks or balaclavas. All of them were clad in typical yob fashion: black tracksuit with Nike Shocks with hoodies covering their heads. Suffice to say, whatever information we offered didn’t even qualify us for a patrol around the neighbourhood. We all felt pretty useless at the time. Dah la kene rompak in broad daylight. Dah la cannot help the police catch babi babi tu. Retribution was indeed so far away.

I guess we should be lucky that nothing more than what was stolen was taken. Also, I guess we should be thankful that we escaped not only with our lives but with no injuries. Moss Side gangs are reputed to have access to firearms and this excludes the carrying of any knives or blades. To some extent I guess we were partly to blame for moving our stuff in such a blatant fashion in broad daylight but we had no choice.

Did we lock the front door? Of course! The Yale lock was secure as I remember it to be when I closed it. The locksmith said that a wire + credit card was all that’s needed to open one with a swift kick to the door (the shoeprint is still there to this day). We didn’t see it coming as there were three people in the house… and in the middle of the day! The fucking nerve. But presumably neither did they. If Roz and I had gone to Alton Towers I think they would have made a clean sweep of the goods in the house and nothing would have been able to be done about it.

So what have I learnt?

For one, Yale locks make you complacent. Grandale Street made us disciplined in remembering to lock the door behind us whenever we entered/exited the house even at the expense of inconveniencing guests and ourselves. The premises were fitted with a Mortice lock but we never thought of using it – and neither did the girls who lived in the house before us.

Two, having a weapon ready isn’t as heroic as you might think it to be. What was going in my head at the time were more thoughts along the lines of, “Bugger. Of all the things to happen, a robbery. WHERE THE HELL IS ROZANNA?!” than, “Fuckers! Now where is Lucas’ katana? Somebody is going to get hurt real bad!” The three blades were starring at me in the face after they left. Why I didn’t think of chopping those bastards down is beyond me. I think I chickened out. It was the concern for the safety of others that made me sluggish I guess. Also, not knowing how many people I was up against was a big deterrent. But chicken I was that day. Was it the right thing to do I do not know.

Movie heroics and fairytale endings of good vanquishing bad are but fictitious in my mind now. I couldn’t even prevent my house from being burgled. And I just stood there like a stone not knowing what to do but pray that they didn’t harm me or the others in the house. I shudder to think what it would have been like if it was grownups who had broken into the house and what they could have done to us. Or if any of them had a gun.

One thing’s for sure though, I am relieved that my three years in UK are up and over. Feelings of me leaving this place after what has transpired is more of “good riddance” than anything else right now. I have also developed a strong hatred (strong word yes, but appropriate) for yobs. I feel like punching every single one in the face when I see them on the street – loud, brash, uncouth, uncivilized mother fucking pissheads. But at least I can safely say that I’m not a racist: the gang was multicultural :)

To quote Roz (who quoted a P. Ramlee movie): “Kecik-kecik tak nak mampos! Besar-besar menyusahkan orang!”

Its come to a point that every tom, dick, harry and harrys dog has a blog. And what for? telling the entire World Wide Web what they had for breakfast, who they secretly have a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE crush on (mind you can’t be all that secret), how depressed they are secretly (AGAIN how secret could it be?!), and how much they hate Mr. XYZ and Ms. ABC for ruining their lives… It’s also strange how people who have once condemned bloggers as having “No life” or “No real friends” are getting blogs themselves to write to everyone in their “life” or all their “real friends”... How interesting life is.

Around this time, you are probably asking “So why do you have a blog Mr. Smarty Pants Stupid Donkey?” And you probably think.. “HUH! So people can read about your UNINTERESTING life”

Please… If i could take Xiaxue’s PAH picture i would…

td.com started off as a portal for xlife, zaaba and myself to keep in touch as we were light years away from each other. NEVER in the history of td.com has a post been boring, filled with UpDoWn CaPs N ShiTZ SpelLiN LyK SuM SiNgApoReAnZ SChoOl Ger geRzzZzzZZZ Do SuMtyMz. In Fact, there have been useful blogs such as my MSN Virus Rem0ving one and xlifes “taking care of laptops/computers” one…

Anyway Enough about us… There are some blogs out there who deserve to be recognized… Of course you have heard of the power bloggers xiaxue, brown, kenny sia, Mr Miyagi. If not you should crawl out of that damn rock and get with it! Asian Blogging’s elite and dare i say the best damn blogs i have ever read esp xiaxue and kenny sia (who hails from Kuching incidently). Go hither and add to their already bulging hit counter!

On the more political note there is this. For anyone who has been to singapore or lives there.. PLEASE read this damnit… Find out what REAL life here is like =|...

For incredibly Biased Movie reviews, funny Comparisons and a way to steal chocolate from 7-11, go to suckball for all your daily sucking needs =)

Of course for the I am the greatest view on the world… maddox is always a nice read…

Last but not least is our darling Jo with her very own view of Kings and London complete with stalkers and stuff. Doesnt Mean you dont post here damnit!

Anyway after all this damn plugging my fingers are damn tired… i should be typing my presentation now.. but what the hey.. i’ve got a whole day! =p

Lunch Hour.. BOOYAH!
Luc-izzle in da H-Izzle D-izzleM-izzle S-izzle Whatever…

Hey all.. Long time since i last blogged.. My bad… Been rather busy la. Loads have happened since i last blogged… Back home in sunny sunny sunny sunny X 2^64 Singapore where the heat is simply unbearable. After a short stint in KL, Im now working in some company back here. I miss the Mamak, foosball and company in KL… Oh well… All good things come to and end, or in this case get delayed till next time. KTJ’s speech day was also last week.. It was great seeing ppl i havent seen in a while again (Hanif, Shean Lin, Tuckshop dude, Juniors, Shan, Both the Joannes etc.) but yeah rather uneventful… Other than becoming a Kiddy fiddlers paradise (i.e. cute 13 year old Koreans) the sch hasnt really changed that much….

ANYWAY

Im not sitting at a workstation on the 2nd floor of some office building, trying to compare Windows Sharepoint Services and Sharepoint Portal Server… writing up an Evaluation for thursday. Incidently if anyone knows anything about it, gimme a mail yeah? You will get commisssion =p Bored as hell over here.. but hey thats working life… scary no? 9 – 6 everyday Meetings, deadlines, OT, something like uni =p only you cant skip work hehehehe

SPEAKING OF UNI…

I PASSED MY EXAMS MOFO! WOOT! 1st Class for Maths! Double W00T! Considering i didnt go to a single maths lecture.. i’m pretty damn good =p. Oh and a 2-1 For reasoning… Another class i didnt attend.. KK Lau you can Kiss my fat white corporate ASS! But alas… Due to the shite coursework my grade got pulled to a 2-1 for math and a 3rd for reasoning =|.. Thank God For Denise, Weston, Dog Food and Studying =) No retakes for me bebeh!

Blah blah… Aside from that.. i turn 20 sometime Next week… God I feel insanely old.. Those of you who are thinking “PAH 20?!” Zaaba, CW.. heheh SUE ME! Im no longer a teen… The bright side of turning 20..is after 20 years of being a PC user… i am getting…

THIS

WOOO HOOO I’m sorry Reza, I beat you to it! hahahahahahahha No more Crashing, NO more “Your Computer May be At Risk”, no more 2 button mouse and no more freaking UGLY WINDOWS XP BOOTUP SCREEN! WAHAHAHAHAH! When i finally get my baby… i will post screenies.. DEFINITELY.. Those of you who are thinking “Mac sux0|2Z, UNIX h4X0|2z” Shouldnt even be using a Computer… The best thing about Mac? Its UNIX BASED! whahahahahahahahahahah I likey… And im gonna be a whore and get a Crumpler bag for the PB15.. Kiss my ass.. im not an ACS boy ok.. =)

Anyway thats it from me… Parting words… If you wanna go Happy slapping… Go slap a Fucking Yob/Chav/Scally/Brit Ah Beng. Fuck them… Zaaba.. i wish i was there… My Daito would have come in useful… IKKEEEEHHHH ZABIMARU LOL!

Out..
Luc

P/S: The Ladies in my office… are FREAKING HOT… =p

If you love wearing all black clothings, a balaclava, a hoodie and Nike Shocks, I fucking hate you.

Try getting burgled in broad daylight with 3 people in the house. I bet you’ll have similar feelings too. DEATH TO ALL YOBS.